Solved Some days I am ashamed to say I live here.

December 30, 2011 at 09:56:14
Specs: XP Home, 2.4 Core 2 / 1 gig
Florida was weird as only it can be in 2011

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) — Did you hear about the giant Lego man that washed up on Siesta Key beach? What about the man who walked into a bar, ordered a beer and disappeared for 30 minutes to rob a bank, only to return and finish his drink? Or how about the puzzling story of the baby grand piano that showed up on a sandbar near Miami?

That's Florida, where weird is an everyday event.

Over the past year, a 92-year-old woman fired four shots at a neighbor who refused to kiss her, a Delray Beach man cut off a piece of a dead whale that washed ashore — planning to eat it — and an 8-year-old girl gave her teacher some marijuana and said: "This is some of my mom's weed."

The piano was a mystery for about a month. On Jan. 1, 2011, the charred instrument showed up on a Biscayne Bay sandbar, a couple hundred yards from shore. A 16-year-old student eventually admitted he put it there as part of an art project. A day after it was removed, someone set up a table with two chairs, place settings and a bottle of wine.

It's still not clear how the 100-pound, 8-foot-tall Lego man washed ashore. The local tourism bureau hoped to use Lego man to promote the area, but the man who found it has placed a claim on it. He can keep it if the owner doesn't collect it before early next year. As for the bar-bank robber, he was arrested at his watering hole, not too long after the holdup.

Author Tim Dorsey, whose novels include Florida strangeness both real and fantasy, said the state is an odd place because of its diverse, highly transient population.

"There's pockets of strangeness all over the country, but here it's a baseline lifestyle. There, it's the aberration. There, it's the tail end of the bell curve. Here, it's the peak of the bell curve," Dorsey said.

Young people made up a large part of the peculiar tales.

In Palm Beach County, an elementary school teacher opened an end-of-the-year gift from an 8-year-old student's grandmother and found toiletries and a loaded handgun. A Tampa woman upset with her 15-year-old son's bad grades forced him to stand on a street corner with a sign that read: "Honk if I need an education."

A 15-year-old Florida Keys girl who is a big fan of the "Twilight" books and movies was afraid that her mother would get upset by the bite marks her boyfriend gave her after they acted out her vampire fantasy. She made up a story about being attacked; doubtful investigators got her to tell the truth.

Deputies arrested an 18-month-old's father after they found the man passed out in his mobile home while the toddler was in the yard picking up beer cans and drinking them.

Pasco County deputies said a woman walked into a bank with a 3-year-old boy and robbed it. A homeless man held up a Tampa bank, fled on a city bus and handed out stolen cash to passengers.

And while he didn't rob it, an unhappy Palm Coast bank customer left quite a deposit. He urinated in a drive-thru bank tube and drove off.

Animals always account for a fair share of odd news. At the Miami airport, a Brazilian trying to get through security was caught with several baby pythons and tortoise hatchlings in his underwear. A woman found a 7-foot alligator in her bathroom, and a man stored his dead cougar in a freezer.

In north-central Florida, an Ocala ice cream shop got rid of its costumed mascot — a waving vanilla cone — because passers-by kept mistaking him for a hooded Ku Klux Klansman.

In unusual crime stories, two managers of a Lake City Domino's Pizza were charged with burning down a rival Papa John's as a way to increase business. Two deaf men using sign language were stabbed at a Hallandale Beach bar when another costumer thought they were flashing gang signs.

And finally, a North Naples man who was pulled over for a traffic violation called 911 and reported a shooting nearby to get out of a ticket. He still got a ticket and was also charged with making a false 911 call.

See More: Some days I am ashamed to say I live here.

Report •

#1
December 30, 2011 at 11:39:16
I might be moving there soon.

How do you know when a politician is lying? His mouth is moving.


Report •

#2
December 30, 2011 at 16:16:26
✔ Best Answer
I live in Ft. Lauderdale. At least these things didn't happen all on the same day. (Although some of them did.) This is one weird frigging state. Been here over 30 years and it still amazes me.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Emo Philips


Report •

#3
December 30, 2011 at 20:47:31
AS they say in this part of the word: There's nowt as queer as folk!

Stuart


Report •

Related Solutions

#4
December 31, 2011 at 14:55:57
Been here since '76 myself and still at least once a month something makes me shake my head and say "Really".

Report •

#5
January 1, 2012 at 06:58:55
One that stuck with me for awhile was the mother who was upset that her son had been shot by police after pulling a gun on them while being arrested for murder.

The mother said, and I quote, "Why did they have to shoot him? He was a good boy. He only killed three people."

Values are different here.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Emo Philips


Report •

#6
January 6, 2012 at 08:22:13
I hear in Miami they say "Welcome to Dade County; we put the duh in Floriduh?" Is that true? :)

Report •

#7
January 6, 2012 at 09:21:45
We're usually not smart enough to come up with a saying like that. But yeah, that's us.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Emo Philips


Report •

#8
January 6, 2012 at 13:29:30
I guess every area has their own view. I'm originally from South Dakota. We use to say "be glad you live in South Dakota; you could be living in North Dakota."

Although deep in December, when the wind and snow blow out of Canada, it doesn't matter much. :)


Report •

#9
February 2, 2012 at 13:48:15
Don't know if anyone is still following but we have another winner.

Guy was drunk driving, slammed into another car killing a 23 yr old girl. He's being taken to the court by the girl's family. He's very, very wealthy. So he doesn't lose his assets, he's adopting his 42 yr old girlfriend so he can put his assets in her name.

I thought you couldn't do something like that, but this is Florida so here we go.

"Naked man told to Halt! And drop the iguana."

Crime Report headline from the Key West Citizen

Intelligent people don't have time to Tweet.


Report •

#10
February 2, 2012 at 20:56:27
Again I am ashamed.

Report •

#11
February 3, 2012 at 04:32:50
Me too. Wonder if he does that, that then he can be charged with incest?

"Naked man told to Halt! And drop the iguana."

Crime Report headline from the Key West Citizen

Intelligent people don't have time to Tweet.


Report •

#12
February 3, 2012 at 13:55:57
Then he'll have to move to Alabama.

Report •

#13
February 3, 2012 at 16:55:24
Or Kentucky since she's over 15.

"Naked man told to Halt! And drop the iguana."

Crime Report headline from the Key West Citizen

Intelligent people don't have time to Tweet.


Report •

#14
February 9, 2012 at 11:00:22
I wanna live in SoFla...Although I've never really seen worse drivers anywhere in this country... The beach would be worth it.

Report •

#15
February 10, 2012 at 00:22:06
The beaches in north west Fl are prettier.

Report •

#16
February 15, 2012 at 05:27:45

Report •

#17
February 20, 2012 at 19:53:37
Yep only in Florida.

Report •

Ask Question