Men really do Remember

April 14, 2012 at 05:50:21
Specs: W2000, N/A
A woman awakes during the night to find her husband was not in their bed, and puts on her dressing gown to go downstairs looking for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. As she watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.
'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily..

'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'

'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he pushed his shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'

'I remember that too' she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...

'Today I would have been released.'


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#1
April 15, 2012 at 14:52:59
LMAO! XD

Best one I've read so far!

YOLO


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#2
April 16, 2012 at 05:19:46
A customer in a restaurant was being served with his soup, when he noticed the waiter had his thumb in the bowl.

"What the devil do you think you are doing?" he asked.

"I am keeping it warm." replied the waiter.

"Stick it up your bum!" said the man.

The waiter retorted, "I do when I am in the kitchen." :-)


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#3
April 16, 2012 at 07:17:17
LOL Mike

That reminds me of one (warning: I do not tell jokes very well)

A fellow is leaving a bar one evening and as he steps out and starts walking away he comes across two homeless looking dudes sitting in the alley immediately adjacent to the bar. He looks over and sees the one guy has a finger up the other fellows butt. Shocked he says, "What are you doing?"

The homeless looking dude replies, "Oh, my buddy Bill has had too much to drink so I'm going to make him puke so he'll feel better"

The dude says, "But how is sticking a finger up his butt going to make him puke?"

The homeless guy responds, "Oh, that won't make him sick, but when I pull it out and shove it in his mouth........."

It matters not how straight the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

***William Henley***


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#4
April 17, 2012 at 23:01:20
I think I just puked a little. And no I don't feel better. lol

Likely


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