|Hey finally found the solution....X-Mouse focus..|
credit to these guys:
There are two options in TweakUI you can change to adjust the mouse focus:
1. Expand the 'Mouse' category on the far left, and click the sub-category 'X-Mouse.' In the right-hand panel, ensure that Activation follows X-Mouse is *not* enabled. Note that when x-mouse style window activation *is* enabled, you need only move the mouse into the window in order to give it focus (normally you must click on a window in order to give it focus).
2. Expand the 'General' category and click on the sub-category 'Focus.' In the right-hand panel, check the box labeled "Prevent applications from stealing focus" and set a preference for how many times you want the Window to flash when an event occurs.