Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets. Having reached the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer, I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the disk to store, Only this and nothing more. Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wondering, fearing, Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more. But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token. "Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!" One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more, Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?" Was this some occult illusion, some maniacal intrusion? These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before. Carefully I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises. The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more. Clearly I must press a key, choosing one and nothing more, From "Abort, Retry, Ignore?" With fingers pale and trembling, slowly toward the keyboard bending, Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored, Praying for some guarantee, timidly, I pressed a key. But on the screen there still persisted words appearing as before. Ghastly grim they blinked and taunted, haunted, as my patience wore, Saying "Abort, Retry, Ignore?" I tried to catch the chips off guard, and pressed again, but twice as hard. I pleaded with the cursed machine: I begged and cried and then I swore. Now in mighty desperation, trying random combinations, Still there came the incantation, just as senseless as before. Cursor blinking, angrily winking, blinking nonsense as before. Reading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?" There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted. Getting up I turned away and paced across the bedroom floor. And then I saw a dreadful sight: a lightning bolt cut through the night. A gasp of horror overtook me, shook me to my very core. The lightning zapped my previous data, lost and gone forevermore. Not even, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?" To this day I do not know the place to which lost data go. What demonic nether world us wrought where lost data will be stored, Beyond the reach of mortal souls, beyond the ether, into black holes? But sure as there's C, Pascal, Lotus, Ashton-Tate and more, You will be one day be left to wander, lost on some Plutonian shore, Pleading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?" - GUI (pronounced gooey): What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline. State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford. Obsolete: Any computer you own. Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art-computer to become obsolete. What does 95 mean in Windows 95? The number of times it will crash per hour. The number of seconds before it crashes. The number of floppy disks it will ship on. The percentage of people who will have to upgrade their hardware. The least number of megabytes needed for installation. The number of fast installation help pages in the manual. The number of hours needed to install it. The percentage of existing Windows programs that won't run under Windows 95. The number of calls to Micro$oft's support hot line, before you manage to run it. The number of people who really buy it. The number of people who believe it will ship on time. The number of people who actually paid for the upgrade. The year, it was supposed to be released. How about the number 3.11 in Windows 3.11 ? It will delete 11 megabytes within 3 minutes. Common WindowsError messages: DOS Error #01: Windows loading, come back tomorrow DOS Error #02: Windows loaded. System in danger. DOS Error #03: Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance DOS Error #04: Out of disk space. Delete Windows? (Y)es (H)ell yes! Windows Error #01: No error ... yet. Windows Error #02: Multitasking attempted. System confused. Windows Error #03: Unexplained error. Windows Error #04: Reserved for future mistakes Windows Error #05: Nonexistent error. This cannot really be happening. Windows Error #06: Unable to exit windows. Try the door. Windows Error #07: Door locked. Try control-alt-delete. Windows Error #08: Keyboard locked. Try anything you can think of. Windows Error #09: Mouse not found. Press mouse button to continue. -------------- some credits go to the link provided and this is just for humor purposes and Not how I feel about Windows or any of its OSes.

Nice! but that's "HUMOUR" (Queen's English please ;-) )

Edgar Allen Poe would be pleased with the modern version...

I love it...