|>> how are all the AOL users going to know if they are looking at my old or updated site. <<|
Unfortunately they don't. However, if AOL are doing things properly, and you never know with AOL, the cache should be cleared after 30 mins.
You can check if a page is being cached here.
Go down to the last item on the right, ISP cached DNS lookup, and enter the URL of the page in question.