|You would be better off with wired. |
My guess is you could use either cable. Patch or crossover is normally supported automatically on newer systems. Try a patch (which is the normal cable) first before you go and buy a cable.
Now as to the software issue you ought to repost on that. You can't fool the software like that. Just repost and explain more what you want to do.
"Best Practices", Event viewer, host file, perfmon, antivirus, anti-spyware, Live CD's, backups, are in my top 10