This forumn needs something a little less serious... (by Spinal, based on several accounts taken by friends, relatives etc...) ********************************************* Dear Friends, I've decided it was time to upgrade my oldish computer. It has been a while my friends have told me to upgrade, but I didn't as I know M$ and all the other OS's upgrading are just the same as older OS's but with a higher price tag. Its just all a scam to get money from ppl! Anyways, Ive decided to upgrade, Im running a Amstrad 512, with MS-DOS 3.2 installed. I decided to upgrade as when I tried installing a new game I got as a present (Unreal 2004) it wouldn't run. So with a few trusty friends we decide that instead of buying a new computer (beware of scams) we would buy a few critical components and change them. We decide on the new Athlon 64, and a new graphics card. The Athlon seemed to have a few pins too many, so we remove pins until the CPU fits into the old housing. NExt we notice the graphics card won't fit into the m/b. One friend says its because the motherboard is ISA while the card is AGP 8x. Do we decide to create new groove, solder together some of the connectors to make the card look the part and insert it into the m/b. Next we get a Phillips flat panel monitor, again there are a few pins too many in the plug, same procedure remove the pins, and fit the plug. Finally, I needed to upgrade the HD, my old 32mB wouldnt fit all of unreal, so we decide to buy a maxtor 250Gb. Now the problem is that on the pc, the hard drives would slide into the ISA slots with their own controllers, but the new HD doesnt have a controller (its all a scam for moeny, im telling ya!) so we remove the old hd, swap the controller, remove a few wires to make the pins fit and install the lot. Now when I turned on the computer there was a slight smell of burnt plastic, (a bit like when the Apple G4's came out) and making reference to the G4s a friend said it was normal. But the screen doesnt seem to turn on. Does anyone have any idea whats wrong? I would greatly appreciate any help! Do I have to add more RAM? or more ROM? or more RW? Also, would it be possible to add a dvd-rw to the thing? Thanx, Unnamed ********************************************* This more interesting story actually happened in my household. I had just bought a lovely new wireless + optical mouse (it was one of the first dual mice). My mother comes along, asks what it is. I try a technical explanation and her reply was, "so its a mouse?". Giving up, I say "yes its just a very nice mouse". I get asked the usual question >"how does it work?" >"its just like your old mouse, see the mouse on the screen <nod> just move the mouse and the pointer on the screen moves!" >"oh, ok thats easy" (takes the mouse, puts it ON THE SCREEN, then asks) "its not working!" Hope these put a smile on some faces without getting anyone fired :P Spinal

I found it annoying and not funny. Please go elsewhere to entertain yourself. Thanks very much.

LOL, Thats one reason I put the don't read warning as the subject... You were warned. AS for the first story it was a mixture of stories heard, not a method of entertaining myself, just a way of trying to entertain people that seem to be bent over problems the whole day; sometimes (actually most of the time) the problem is the human component (the user, help desk etc). Another example, from Now Totally Lost ISP, "We dont recommend firewalls or anti-virus programs with broadband" or "Your area is over subscribed, we will be forced to dig up you garden and the road to fix the problem" (Thanx to MicroMart) Spinal

Uber Idiots

Man, some people have no sense of humor. Jeeez guys, don't be so serious. I happen to like it when Spinal post...I read all your stuff.