|Try the laptop with the battery removed and the power cord plugged in. If it works normally (not just for a short time, but normal usage), then the battery might be bad (as in having a bad cell or a poor internal connection).|
If it is under warranty, contact the vendor, if not, see if a local shop can test the battery for you.
oh, and: Heyyy... jjjjude....
Sorry, could not help it.
You have to be a little bit crazy to keep you from going insane.